Vanity, thy name is Geek

It can be somewhat gratifying to find that something you’ve written or said has been memorable enough for other people to share. Geeky outcast though I was as a kid, I used to be greatly amused when I’d note other people picking up on some of my more idiosyncratic phrases or behaviors. I know for certain that this was sometimes just a coincidence; other times, I could trace how it moved from person to person.

Aside from this blog, I’ve participated in quite a few online forums and discussions (most of these have much higher traffic, as well). On rare occasions, I’ve said something that actually approached being unique or insightful, and I get some good responses. This feeds my deep-seated need for acceptance by people I consider peers (very ingrained thanks to not having it occur much in the past; thank you college and internet for allowing me to find others like “me”), and makes those writings particularly memorable for me.

Given that confluence of needs and ideas, I occasionally do some vanity Googling of things I’ve said that had some depth. Usually, I get nothing, as befitting an average schmuck on the interwebs. Sometimes, though, I find something quoted word for word in venues I’ve never visited (though often like-minded to where I originally made the statement). Even if it’s getting ripped apart, it gives me warm fuzzies to know that my thoughts made someone else think and respond. I don’t quite know what pathology that is, but I surely have it.

I guess that’s why I like forums or comment sections of large blogs for a lot of my online discussion. On the more intimate forums, I’m a well-known personality. On the larger ones, I’m a bit player. But, even a bit player can spark a discussion, and I’ve done that a few times.

I don’t know. In the end, I guess it’s one of the weird ways I have fun. I can handle that.