Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Vanity, thy name is Geek

It can be somewhat gratifying to find that something you’ve written or said has been memorable enough for other people to share. Geeky outcast though I was as a kid, I used to be greatly amused when I’d note other people picking up on some of my more idiosyncratic phrases or behaviors. I know for certain that this was sometimes just a coincidence; other times, I could trace how it moved from person to person.

Aside from this blog, I’ve participated in quite a few online forums and discussions (most of these have much higher traffic, as well). On rare occasions, I’ve said something that actually approached being unique or insightful, and I get some good responses. This feeds my deep-seated need for acceptance by people I consider peers (very ingrained thanks to not having it occur much in the past; thank you college and internet for allowing me to find others like “me”), and makes those writings particularly memorable for me.

Given that confluence of needs and ideas, I occasionally do some vanity Googling of things I’ve said that had some depth. Usually, I get nothing, as befitting an average schmuck on the interwebs. Sometimes, though, I find something quoted word for word in venues I’ve never visited (though often like-minded to where I originally made the statement). Even if it’s getting ripped apart, it gives me warm fuzzies to know that my thoughts made someone else think and respond. I don’t quite know what pathology that is, but I surely have it.

I guess that’s why I like forums or comment sections of large blogs for a lot of my online discussion. On the more intimate forums, I’m a well-known personality. On the larger ones, I’m a bit player. But, even a bit player can spark a discussion, and I’ve done that a few times.

I don’t know. In the end, I guess it’s one of the weird ways I have fun. I can handle that.

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